DSDW Meeting Day

The morning began with a power outage in our hotel - twice. We could see a storm cloud rolling on over the city... great - rain! We had to be in the lobby to meet Mo, our Holt Sahathai social worker, to leave together for our meeting at the Thai Department of Social Development and Welfare. This is where we have to sit before a board of "officials" and they hopefully give their blessing and one last piece of paper to allow Abe to come home with us. We arrived at the place on time, 9:00 a.m., and then we had to wait... and wait... and wait. I was very surprised to see at least 20 families there from all over the world. Only 4 families were there with Holt. We met our social worker that has been working on our paperwork there in that particular office... we wondered if she was also the one at fault for our file being misplaced and delaying our travel in January...? Oh well, she seemed nice enough, and it was obvious that these workers are constantly busy. Rob and Michelle were the first ones in from our group, and they were gone for what seemed like forever. Finally they came out and were very happy to have received the final approval. Matt and I were asking them what sorts of questions they were asked by the board. Michelle said it was pretty straightforward - so we felt okay. I was surprised at how patient Abe was in the waiting room. He was a little fidgety, but for the most part he sat very quietly and waited with us.

Finally Mo came for us and took us to another waiting area - this wait should be very short. She told us that we would be meeting with the Director of the Thai Adoption Board - great again! We both felt a lot of pressure after learning that little bit of information! A young lady came out of the Director's office and motioned for us to come inside - Mo had to wait outside. So Matt, Abe, and I went in on our own. We were asked to sit at a table with three women. One was an elderly woman, one was maybe in her mid-forties, and one was in her thirties. They each had our "file" that had been translated into Thai and were looking through it and talking to each other. Finally the oldest woman (clearly the one in charge of our meeting) asked us why we asked for a boy Abe's age. I told her that when we began the adoption process, we didn't have an age in mind, but when we found him we knew he was the one. She thanked us for choosing an older child as this does not happen very often. She next started asking about Abe's eyes. I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but we already knew that when Abe was about 2 years old he had a surgery on his eyes for a lazy eye. It was obvious to us from the moment we met him on Sunday that this was still an issue for him. She asked us what we thought about his eyes, and did we think this was something that could be corrected in the U.S. We told her yes, and that was that. She was looking over his medical reports, and looked very sad. She told us that Abe had had a very "troubled infancy" in terms of his health. He had been in and out of the hospital a lot for pnemonia, has had surgery for some sort of gastric issue, and then the surgery on his eyes. We told her we knew and understood, and she looked relieved. They asked Matt about the age children he teaches, and I told them I teach first graders. They liked that we are both teachers, and then asked what we thought about his achievement in school here. We told them that we haven't seen any report cards from school, but that he was reading a book with us before bed last night (one that has English and Thai in it). She started talking to Abe, and then asked me if it was a story about a fish and a frog - it was! He remembered the story! The main lady said she had to ask Abe if he wanted to go with us, due to his age, and we agreed (that was scary!) They had a long conversation, and then she translated that he said yes, he wanted to go to America, but only if Mom and Dad go together. How sweet! He wouldn't go with just one of us. :) She asked us how he takes care of himself, and we told her that he can shower, picks up his toys, and dresses himself. She said he told her that Mom helped him with his tie - I did - he was not at all sure about it this morning! Then he saw Matt's tie, and he was good.

She told us that they felt Abe was in good hands and would have a good life with us, and they would approve the adoption (finally!) They wished us well, and apparently told Abe to be a good boy - he nodded his head to them. We said our goodbyes, and then we left the room. Rob and Michelle and the other Holt families were outside in the waiting area, and we all sighed a sigh of relief that we were all finished here! We took some pictures and were on our way back to the hotel.

On the ride back, which was about 20 minutes, Abe told Mo he was hungry, and she translated for us. Thankfully we had packed some snacks and water to take along with us for him. He ate a little, and Matt snacked too, then Abe patted his tummy (his new way of telling us he is full) and gave the bag back to Matt. Matt continued to eat, and Abe said "Daddy ~~~~~" and motioned for Matt to put the bag away. That was too funny! We all laughed about that!

We had lunch when we got back to the hotel, and then after a little break we took Abe swimming again. He loves the water!

Tomorrow we meet at the U.S. Embassy for a brief meeting to get Abe's visa to travel home. Finally, we are almost done here!

First Full Day Together

Today was our first full day together - with no social worker, just us! Abe slept in his bed last night, it is a roll-away bed, and we put it at the bottom of our bed. I kept waking up during the night to make sure he was still there - he was so quiet! I heard him get up at about 5:30 and go to the bathroom, and then he crawled back in bed and covered his head - he was so cold in our room because he is not used to air conditioning! Anyway, about 6:30 he hopped out of bed and opened the curtains, so I guess we knew that meant he was ready to stay up. :) We went downstairs for breakfast, which is a buffet with many choices, and he picked fried rice with eggs, pancakes, bacon, and fruit. He ate all the rice, finally figured out how to eat the bacon with his hands (he was trying to cut it with a fork) and tasted the pancakes. He didn't eat much of them, so I asked the waitress to ask him if he liked them. She said he told her he had never had something like that before so he wasn't sure he liked them or not. After breakfast we had a short meeting with HSF worker to go over the paperwork she is submitting to the Embassy for Abe's visa home. Then it was free time in our room for a little while. We brought along some Tom & Jerry DVD's since there isn't a lot of talking, if any, in them. He LOVES Tom & Jerry! We taught him to say their names, and he laughs a lot when watching them.

Rob and Michelle, the other American family, told us about a place called Funquarium, which is like a bounce house in Tennessee. We decided to take a taxi and go there for the day. At first Abe was a either scared or intimidated, but either way, he got over it soon! Matt went up inside with him, and then he was ready to be on his own. He definitely needed to burn off some of his energy! Besides the climbing wall and big slides, there was an indoor basketball court that he used as a soccer field - he loves to kick the ball around. There was also a bicycle track around the perimeter of the play area. Abe decided he wanted to ride a bike... all I can say is thank goodness there were helmets and training wheels! We thought we had been told he has had a bike before, but clearly not. Poor guy, he crashed almost every time he turned a corner! But, his head-strong nature did not let him give up - he kept getting right back on and trying again. We all had a really good time!

We passed a little shopping mall close to the Funquarium, and we spotted a McDonald's inside - jackpot! :) We knew he has had McDonald's before, and we are so tired of Thai food we thought this would be perfect for lunch. One thing you should know, not all McDonald's are the same! They ask you if you want your hamburgers with beef or pork meat! Also, they have fried chicken in addition to the McNuggets. It was the closest thing to home, so we didn't complain too much. Abe got a Happy Meal with a Shrek toy - he was so excited to get the toy!

We walked around the shopping center for a little while. We found another book store, so we picked up a few more books that are both Thai and English, and Abe kept picking up DVD's he wanted to see. I remember Kelly Stevens, the other American family that came to Thailand in January, telling me that any DVD purchased here would not play on her DVD player in the states, so we found an electronics place and bought a cheap one to bring home. After that we bought Disney movies The Incredibles and Under Dog that have both English and Thai languages... he is watching one right now in Thai. He likes to have a blanket on him in our room because he stays cold, and he makes sure that Matt or I am also covered up with him!

We took a taxi back to the hotel, and the driver missed our street. Abe's eyes perked up because he knew where we were and where we were supposed to be. As soon as he saw the hotel, he started telling the driver where to go. We all laughed about that! The driver must have asked him something to do with him being with us, and he responded with America - he told the driver he was going to America! :)

When we got in our room, we told him (more like sign language) that he needed to take a shower (big Thai adoption meeting tomorrow!), and he went straight for his pajamas. Matt showed him the shower, and he was in and out very fast. I know they had almost no time for showers at the orphanage, so he knows to take one quick! After his shower, and any time he washes his hands, he likes to smell his hands - he likes the smell of soap! Funny the simple things he seems to like the most - the smell of soap, or being clean, and every time we pay for something, he likes to get the coin change back and he has a spot in our room where he is keeping it.

Tomorrow is a big day - the formal adoption board hearing where we will be given a "Memorandum of Understanding" - which is what the Embassy has to receive in order to give us the paperwork to bring Abe home. We leave at 8:00 a.m. - please keep us in your prayers that everything goes smoothly, and I will post again after we return. In the meantime, early bedtime for all of us!

Good Night friends and family!

Shopping with Abe

After we left the boys' home, we were on our way to a mall for shopping and lunch with Tuk and the other adoptive families. The mall we were headed to was facing a larger build-up of red shirt protesters, so Tuk called Mo and they decided to change our shopping location to somewhere far from the altercations. We traveled maybe an additional 20 minutes (still in Bangkok) to the new meeting place. The department store we went to was called Central Department Store, and I was very surprised to see the same brand names of clothing and toys here in Thailand as we see in the U.S. Abe needed some tennis shoes, and he told Tuk he wanted shoes like Daddy's...and the pair he picked out were Osh Kosh. How funny. We also picked up some socks and underwear for him because the home didn't send him with any. I also picked up a few books in the store that are written in Thai and English. After shopping, we met inside the mall for lunch - great - another Thai food restaurant! :o Matt found something on the menu that was like Chicken Parmesan, so that is what we both ordered. Abe had told Tuk he wanted some sort of fried rice dish, but she showed him what we were ordering, and he told her he wanted what Mom and Dad were having. :) That was probably the best food we have had since being here.

After shopping Tuk brought us back to the hotel, and then it was time for her to say her goodbyes to Abe. After today, we won't be seeing Tuk anymore, only Mo. As soon as we got to our room, she sat Abe down at the table and took him by the hands and talked for what seemed like forever. They both looked very sad, of course we have no idea what she was telling him. She has known Abe for three years, so her attachment to him is very strong. It was sad to watch. After their goodbyes, it was our turn. Tuk and I both started crying, but I'm not sure if they were sad tears or happy tears - we both were feeling a lot of different things. She gave us her email address and telephone number. We told her we would stay in touch and send her pictures often. Abe will miss her, and so will we.

Abe had spotted the swimming pool from our balcony, so after Tuk left he asked to go swimming (okay, he made arm movements that left us know what he was asking :) ). So Matt and Abe put on their swim trunks and we headed downstairs. I'm not sure that Abe really knows how to swim, but he has the basic idea. More than anything, he liked Matt picking him up out of the water and letting him slash down. They both had a lot of fun together!

After swimming, we came back to the room to clean up and go for dinner. The hotel sent up his roll-away bed, and as soon as he saw it - he knew it was for him and he smiled a big smile and said Abe ~~~~ (Thai word for bed). He was very excited! At the restaurant, I ordered fried rice with chicken, shrimp, and pineapples in it for Abe, and he cleaned his plate again. I even gave him part of my dinner, and he ate that too! He is an eating machine for sure!

When we to the room, we gave Abe his pajamas, and he changed clothes and hopped into bed. We pulled out a few books to read to him, knowing he couldn't understand them - but I could tell he liked story time anyway. One of the books we bought while we were shopping was Snow White, and it has Thai and English words. Matt read the English, and Abe read the Thai - it was so cute to listen to him read! He was very tired, so finally it was lights out.

Custody Day

This morning we met Tuk in the lobby for her to drive us to the boys' home to meet with the Director and take custody of Abe. We took a baseball, a basketball, two footballs, a parachute, and some sidewalk chalk with us to leave with the boys. They loved playing with the parachute! Matt played with them, and we put the baseball on top and the boys figured out how to move the parachute to make the ball go up in the air. They were having so much fun! Matt taught the boys how to throw a football, and some others started playing basketball. They were all so excited to have some new things to play with. We met another caregiver of Abe - she was the main one I think. She talked to Abe a while, telling him goodbye, and she asked that the boys keep the parachute but for us to take the other toys with us to the Director and he would decide where the items go. I know that may be the custom, but that stinks! The boys were having such fun playing, and then she made us take them from them. If I had known that would happen, I'm not sure we would've shown the boys first. As we were heading for the Director's office, Tuk told the boys to say goodbye... it was sad for them all - my heart was pulling at me for the ones being left behind and for Abe leaving his friends.

We went to the Director's office, and there Tuk had told me I could ask for more pictures of Abe that were maybe taken during his childhood... NONE. They had 1 baby picture, but that was it! This boy has been there 8 years, and the only pictures they had were his one and only baby picture! I was pretty upset about that. I wanted pictures for him to have as he gets older. Thankfully Holt has taken several over the last 2 years for the adoption, but I was definitely expecting more.

We went upstairs to meet with the Director, and he seems to be a very nice and caring man. He and Tuk talked a lot, and then she would translate what was being said. One thing she said he asked her was about how he may not fit in due to the color of his skin... we told her to tell him not to worry about that and he smiled. We had to sign custody papers with the Director, and they even had Abe sign his name as well. I had hoped to get a copy of the paper, but Tuk said that wasn't normal - so no paper. We took some pictures with the Director, and then he hugged Abe bye and we were on our way.

More about Monday in a bit...

Here he is!

Yesterday was a rush of activity, and by the time we got back to our room about 8:00 our time, Matt and I were both exhausted. I will post again in a little bit, but I know everyone is wanting to see some pictures of Abe... so here they are!

More details about yesterday and today later.

Amy, Matt, and Abe!

First Meeting Day

The day was crazy and full of things to do... but it was all about Abe today for sure! We went down about 10:00 this morning and met with "Mo" - she is an HSF social worker. There were 4 families, including ours, there meeting together. When everyone gathered, Mo took us upstairs in the Ellis-Hutchings suite to go over the schedule of the next few days. Ours hadn't changed any - so that was good. We were all talking and asking different questions, when the doorbell rang. We all thought it was our children, but it was housekeeping! Talk about losing focus! Anyway, we started hearing people talking outside the door, and as Mo went to open it, I thought - wait, my camera! I was able to catch Abe a little as he came in the door, but not as much as I had wanted. Because I had the camera going, Tuk took Abe to meet Matt first. He was carrying his backpack of all the things we have sent to him so far, and he seemed very shy and nervous. Tuk suggested we take him to our room and leave the babies with their new families, so we did. Once we got in our room, Abe was looking at the 2 albums we sent him and trying to read the names to us. Tuk was very good about prompting him to talk to us - but clearly he has not been learning English during the delay in our travel. I can already see this is going to be pretty difficult for a little while! We talked for about an hour, and then it was time to go downstairs and meet the other families for lunch. Abe cleaned his plate in no time, and then wanted more! I think he has been "programed" to eat everything on his plate whether he wants it or not.

After lunch we went back upstairs, this time without Tuk, and was alone with Abe for about 2 1/2 hours. It was interesting! We tried looking at some books, and he liked watching Sesame Street on the DVD player. We showed him some videos from home, and he really liked seeing his room and pictures of him in our house.

After spending time together in our room, it was time to head to the Mayhemek Home for Boys for Abe's going away pizza party. Tuk took us by a pizza place to order the pizzas and we shopped in a grocery store for Coke while we waited. The boys home was not far from our hotel and we arrived about 4:30. As soon as we pulled into the driveway, Tuk's truck was swarmed by all the boys. They obviously knew we were coming and what we had with us! We met one of Abe's caregivers, and she gathered the boys in Abe's cottage together for the pizza. The sat on the floor, which is a tile floor, and Matt, Abe, Tuk, and I handed pizza to each of the boys. Each boy put his hands together and bowed as their way of saying thank you. They were all so cute - and they knew we were there for Abe and almost looked at us wondering why him and not them. I was a little sad and felt a little guilty about that. After they were all full of Coke and pizza, we had some chocolate Easter rabbits for them - they ALL knew what chocolate was and were very excited for that!

After they finished eating, Abe showed us his bed... which is basically a cot. All the boys share the same room - and it was horribly hot in the room - only one fan for the whole upstairs quarters. Abe wanted us to see their bathroom area, which had about 4 stalls and a big basin full of water that was their bathtub. Outside on the bathroom wall were the cups and toothbrushes for each boy - and there were ants on everything! He also showed us a smaller basin where he hand washes his own clothes... and he was very proud of that.

We were there about 2 hours, and then it was time to go. Tuk explained to him that he would stay there one more night before coming to the hotel to stay with us. He waved goodbye and we were off. Tuk is very good with him, and all the boys at Mayhemek. Abe has been blessed to have her in his life to look after him until now.

By the time we got back to the hotel, Matt and I were both very tired. We ate a little dinner and crashed for bed.

Today is the Big Day!

Last night we slept pretty good... considering! I think I got up about 1:00 a.m. to see what time it was, and was very disappointed to find that it was still the middle of the night. We were both awake many times over the next few hours, and so we finally decided to go ahead and get up (5:00 a.m.) and get the day started. We are going to meet Rob and Michelle downstairs for breakfast, and then HSF will be here at 10:00 for a short meeting before we meet our kids. Tuk is supposed to have Abe here at 10:45 a.m. and we will stay here until about 2:00 before heading out to the boys' orphanage. There Abe will have his going away party and we will provide pizza for the boys - about 31 of them! My mind can't wrap around the days events, so I don't think I will even try. It's been a long time coming, and then to be here and see the Thai way of life mixed with all the governmental issues... I can't wait to bring him home!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there - Mom, I miss you and I'm sorry I'm not there with you today like I always have been- but I have an awesome present for you and I'm sure he can't wait to meet you! :)

We will post more later after the day's events...!